so that I can be reassured of my value. It leads to couples obsessed with
performance who will break up just like that at the slightest underachievement.
In contrast to this attitude, I call upon tenderness -- love as tenderness. What is tenderness? To be tender is to accept the loved one's weaknesses. It's not about becoming a sad couple of orderlies. On the contrary, there's plenty of charm and happiness in tenderness. I refer specifically to a kind of humor that is unfortunately underused. It is a sort of poetry of deliberate awkwardness.
I refer to self-mockery --- one of the best means for the relationship to endure." - Philosopher Yann Dall'Aglio